Safety Planning

Be aware that during the time when survivors of domestic violence choose to leave a relationship, it is common for safety concerns to significantly increase. An abuser’s desire to maintain power and control over a survivor can escalate abusive behavior when a survivor is leaving or trying to leave.

• Put together a package of essential items and leave it with someone you trust. This could include things like money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, extra medicine, and clothing.
  • This checklist of items may be helpful.
• Think of places you could stay if you leave home. Are there safe friends or family members you can stay with temporarily?
  • If you do not have a safe place to stay, you can contact advocates at our 24hr helpline by calling 509-326-2255 and asking for a shelter screening. Learn more about our shelter.
• Independently open a checking account, savings account, or credit card in your name.
• Keep your new address confidential.
  • Motor vehicle records, including addresses, may be available to the public.
  • Certain actions, such as registering to vote or applying for public benefits, make your address public record. If this is a concern for you, know that you can contact the advocates at our main office by calling 509-326-1190 to discuss the address confidentiality program and other address confidentiality measures you can take.

• Use your instincts and judgment.
  • If the situation is dangerous, consider giving the abuser what is necessary to calm the situation. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.
• Be aware of the location.
  • Consider all the exits, or potential exits, in your living space. When you’re in an argument with your abuser, it may be helpful to identify the closest exit.
  • If possible, practice getting out of your home through less conventional exits — such as windows — during a time when your abuser is not present.
• If you think an interaction with your abuser may escalate into an argument, try to stay away from the bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, or anywhere else weapons might be available.
• Consider what may be helpful in advance.
  • Consider telling one or more trusted neighbors about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home. At YWCA Spokane, we are aware that calling the police is not always a safe option for survivors, especially BIPOC survivors.
  • Consider using a “code word:"
    • With your children that indicates you would like them to leave the room.
    • With your neighbors that indicates you would like them to take a specific action to intervene, which could involve calling the police.

If your abuser doesn’t live in the same home as you:

• Change the locks on your doors.
• Buy additional locks, window bars, and/or poles to secure windows and sliding doors.
• Install a lighting system outside, consider automatic motion-detecting lights.
• Purchase a home security system.
• Install a peephole on external doors, if possible.
• If there are children in the home, show them how to keep doors, windows, and garage doors locked.
• Install smoke detectors and fire extinguishers for each floor in your house/apartment.
• Consider purchasing a rope ladder that can be used to exit from a non-ground-level floor.
• When setting up bank, utility, phone and other services, request a security code to restrict access to account information.
• Inform your neighbors and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and to take a specific action, such as calling the police and/or notifying you, if they see your partner near your home.
• Explore whether your phone line is secure or if the line could be cut.

• When developmentally appropriate, talk to your child(ren) about what concerns they may have and what they can do to stay safe. If you need extra help in this area, YWCA Spokane therapists can provide support for you and your child(ren).
• Identify people who would help your child(ren) during times of need.
• Ask your child(ren) whether they feel comfortable asking that person for help.
• Teach your child(ren) how to call you as well as a trusted friend, family member, or 911.
• Inform your child(ren)’s school, day care, etc. who has permission to pick them up.

• Consider whether you want to inform anyone at your work, including HR and security, about your domestic violence situation.
• You have rights to safety accommodations, which you can read more about here.
• It may be helpful to share a copy of your protection order and/or a picture of your abuser with trusted individuals in your workplace.
• Arrange to have caller ID, voicemail, or a trusted coworker screen your telephone calls.
• Create a safety plan for when you leave work. This could include:
• Having someone escort you to your car or the bus and wait until you are safely en route.
• Using a variety of routes to go home, if possible.
• Thinking about safe places on the route you could stop.
• Use different grocery stores, gas stations, and banks. Shop at different hours than you normally would. When there are concerns about stalking, changing patterns of behavior can make it more difficult for abusers to locate survivors.

• Keep your protection order with you at all times.
• If it is safe for you to do so, report violations to law enforcement. When protection order violations create an emergent threat to your or your child(ren)’s safety, call 911. Other violations can be reported to Crime Check at 509-456-2233.
• Think of other ways you can make yourself safe if police are not able to respond right away. YWCA Spokane advocates can provide support by talking about safety concerns and options available to you.
• Choose who you would like to inform about your protection order. This could include friends, family members, neighbors, landlord, and health care providers, as well as workplace HR staff and supervisors.
• Think about if you would like any of these individuals to have a copy of your protection order.
• Call the YWCA Spokane Legal Advocate Office at 509-477-3656, option #1 if you have any questions about your protection order.

• It is possible for conversations on cellular, cordless phones, and baby monitors to be picked up on a scanner. If this poses a concern, limit sharing identifying information when you’re near these kinds of devices.
• Most cellphones are enabled with GPS trackers that can be used to locate the user. Consider turning this service off or turning your phone completely off when you’re not actively using it.
  • Also, GPS tracking devices are small and easy to hide on cars. If you feel like you keep “running into” your abuser, it may be helpful to have your car inspected by a mechanic or police officer to locate any potential GPS devices.
• Be aware that computer usage can be tracked. If you are using a computer that your abuser also has access to, avoid going to websites that will make them suspicious.
• Using a public computer can make it more difficult to monitor your usage. There is a computer lab at YWCA Spokane that clients may use. Call our main office at 509-326-1190 for more information.
• Spyware or computer monitoring software can track computer and Internet usage.
  • If possible, use anti-virus and anti-Spyware software and keep your computer updated to maintain safer computer usage.
  • Computer security professionals consider any computer that has ever had spyware to be “tainted” until restored to its factory settings. Be aware that if your device has Spyware or monitoring software on it, even anti-Spyware may not be fully functional. If you’re able to, take your computer to a professional who can help determine if there’s any malicious programs in use.
• Be cautious of phishing schemes — these are emails, texts, and messages that try to persuade you into giving out sensitive information. Do not provide confidential or identifying information through questionable emails, texts, or messages. Be skeptical when your information is requested online.
• Consider creating a new email or online account your partner is not aware of or create a separate email account for custody and visitation communication.
• Internet messaging and file sharing programs can be a safety risk. If it’s helpful for you, avoid using these computer programs and discuss their danger with your child(ren).
• Certain online platforms may have security features that you can consider. Proton Mail advertises increased security for email communications and Duck Duck Go advertises increased security for online internet browser use.
• If you would like more information about technology safety, the National Network to End Domestic Violence has created a robust Tech Safety Toolkit for survivors. You can review it here.