"What should I do now?" It’s one of the most common questions we hear from survivors of domestic violence.

When someone is facing uncertainty, fear, and difficult choices, it’s natural to want to help by offering solutions or advice. But at YWCA Spokane, we know that real empowerment is about helping a person find their own path forward. That’s where Motivational Interviewing comes in.

What is Motivational Interviewing?

Motivational Interviewing is a compassionate, survivor-centered approach to help individuals explore their own needs, strengths, and options.

It is a conversation style that helps people gain confidence in their ability to make decisions. Instead of telling someone what to do, this approach offers support, guidance, and space for self-reflection.

"Clients have the capability and expertise to move forward, they just need reassurance," says Alondra, YWCA Support Advocate. “The key is to meet the individual where they are and explore what change might look like.”

How Motivational Interviewing supports survivors

Motivational Interviewing plays an essential role in the long-term healing of survivors of domestic violence. The key is to build self-efficacy by identifying and exploring the gap between their current situation and their long-term goals.

“Domestic violence strips survivors of power and control,” states Alondra. “Motivational Interviewing helps restore that power by reinforcing their ability to make choices.”

Through thoughtful questions, active listening, and empathetic responses our advocates work with survivors to:

• Explore possible solutions without pressure or judgment
• Build confidence in their decision-making abilities
• Move forward at their own pace, on their own terms

We have found this process to be crucial for healing. By identifying needs, exploring solutions, and practicing new strategies, survivors can begin to take steps toward a more empowered future. In this way, Motivational Interviewing overlaps with the Empowerment Model.

“We help them develop discrepancy so they can make the next decision on their own, supporting long-term healing by fostering a sense of agency and self-worth,” explains Alondra.

Core principle to Motivational Interviewing

One of the core principles to Motivational Interviewing is known as PACE, which stands for Partnership, Acceptance, Compassion, and Evocation.

• Partnership: The survivor leads the way, with the advocate respecting the survivor's autonomy to set their own goals.
• Acceptance: The survivor is the expert in their own life, and their experiences are valid. We provide a non-judgmental space where the survivor can explore their feelings and options.
• Compassion: We offer validation and reassurance. Survivors often feel isolated and unsure of their next steps. Compassionate support helps them feel heard and understood.
• Evocation: We highlight the survivor's personal strengths and motivations for change that taps into the wisdom they already possess.

What does this look like in practice?

Whether the survivor is considering leaving or staying in the relationship, Motivational Interviewing can help them identify practical solutions and safety strategies.

For instance, imagine a survivor says, “I want to leave, but I don’t know where to start.”

Instead of offering a quick solution, an advocate might respond: “What’s weighing on you the most right now?”

By guiding the conversation with open-ended questions, the advocate helps the survivor identify their biggest concerns—whether that’s housing, legal protections, financial stability, or safety.

Many survivors worry about where they will go or how to stay safe. In these cases, an advocate might connect them with housing resources or explain how a protection order works. The process allows a survivor to visualize potential next steps and make an informed choice.

“We don’t rush the process,” Alondra shares. “We explore their options, building confidence and empowering them to take the next steps on their own terms.”

It is important to note that for Motivational Interviewing to work it requires a person to be ready to explore options and have the capacity for reflective conversations. If a survivor is not ready to participate in that dialogue, the conversation can be explored again in the future, when they’re ready.

"It’s okay to not know what to do right away or have it all figured out," Alondra reassures. "Sometimes before someone is able to make a life-changing decision, they need to gather more information from a trusted resource like the YWCA to help address their immediate safety concerns."

How can you support a survivor in your life?

While Motivational Interviewing is a tool often used by therapists or social workers, there are some basics that anyone can utilize when supporting a survivor.

If someone in your life is experiencing domestic violence, here’s how you can help:

• Listen without judgement: Survivors need a safe space to talk, not pressure or criticism. Validate their experiences, listen actively, and offer support without imposing your own beliefs.
• Ask, don’t assume: Instead of saying, “You should leave,” try, “What options have you considered?” It's about providing information and options, not imposing decisions.
• Focus on their strengths: Remind them of their courage and capacity. What are they good at? What’s going well in their life? Amplifying these areas can empower them to feel more confident in their ability to make decisions.
• Offer support, not solutions: Focus on the survivor’s needs, not on what you think they should do. Help them explore options, but let them decide what’s best for them.

“Our job isn’t to tell them what to do," says Alondra. “Our job is to empower survivors to feel equipped to find the solutions they want for change."

Every survivor deserves to feel heard, valued, and empowered

Motivational Interviewing is a powerful approach that can help a person navigate complex emotions, fears, and decisions. By embracing these principles, we can all play a role in supporting survivors without taking power away from them so they can heal and move toward positive change, at their own pace.

Whether you are a social worker or someone supporting a loved one, keeping these principles in mind can make a lasting difference in a survivor’s journey to safety and healing.

Additional Support

Want to learn more? Visit our Mission Moment blog series to explore ways you can support survivors in your community.

Connect with the YWCA Helpline

In addition to supporting survivors of domestic violence who need services, YWCA Spokane’s 24hr helpline is available to support allies looking to better understand how to help loved ones in their lives. Connect with one of our confidential advocates by calling 509-326-2255, texting 509-222-2222, or emailing help@ywcaspokane.org.